Housework is not motherhood
Domesticity is not synonymous with motherhood.
I once sat in a classroom where teenage girls said they had to learn to cook, do laundry, and clean if they ever wanted to be good mothers. a adult. These are not the things that make up motherhood.
But I understand where they got that conclusion.
You always hear women say they’re not good moms when they’re not making homemade lunches, baking cupcakes for the bake sale, showing up to the doctor with kids who have brushed hair or didn’t put laundry away in a decent time.
“I’m such a bad mom. I sent store-bought valentines to school with my kid.”
“Mom is failing. I didn’t do the laundry.”
“I’m a failure as a mother. I don’t make homemade bread/biscuits/anything.”
Your “success” as a mother is not defined by domestic duties. Domestic chores are part of being an adult.
Although your children need to be changed and fed, it is not the sum of maternity. Everyone can change and nurture children, including dads. You can hire someone to clean your house and feed your children, and you will still be a mother.
And if you weren’t a mom, you would still have to clean your house, cook and do laundry.
You’re not a bad mother because you didn’t do the laundry on time. Let’s stop combining household chores with motherhood, because it’s just not the same thing. Yes, moms do household things. And they raise children. They are two separate things.
Your household is not your motherhood, and you empower when you combine the two and judge against each other.
You are a good mother because you love your child and try to help him learn the things he needs to learn. You worry about your children, you spend time with them, you plan for their future and much more.
Maybe you’re terrible at housework (I don’t know) or maybe you’re the best housekeeper in the world. But neither end of the spectrum – or anything in between – determines whether you’re a good mom or not.
Housekeeping is NOT motherhood.
Originally posted on author’s website.
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